Wicked and the ADHD experience…
Be warned I am about to go full Wicked nerd on you…..
Wicked Oh Wicked you get me every time! A few months ago I, like many people, had the great privilege of seeing the Wicked movie in theatres. There I was having just endured the journey that is Wicked Part One sitting in a dark room, in an inclined movie seat with waves from the final battle cry of Defying Gravity (bless you Cynthia Erivo) still rippling through me. As the lights came on I jointed my fellow oz-struck movie participants as we navigated our way out of the theatre, eagerly wanting to come back to watch part two. Instantly singing the songs, an extra pep in my step and ready to dance my way through the next few days of my life. I flew out of the theatre on a high.
The obsession begins: I first saw the stage production of Wicked as a pre-teen and I have been hooked ever since. Endless hours I spent listening to the soundtrack or looking up low quality youtube videos of the original broadway cast. Wicked has always struck something so deeply in me. It has as always left me feeling so understood and seen.
My question is why does Wicked make me feel so seen? There are many reasons as there are many connections to be made between Wicked and all marginalized groups. But my most recent viewing of Wicked highlighted the parallels between the ADHD experience and Elphaba’s journey.
Elphaba grows up with a huge amount of internalized shame and negative messaging. I see myself in Elphaba because her story is the struggle of the outsider. I, like probably many of you, grew up being AND feeling different (because I have a different brain) than my friends and some of my family. Elphaba spends most of her formative years being shamed for not fitting in. She is deeply moved by injustice and her emotions spill over in the form of magic, disrupting the status quo. She makes everyone around her uncomfortable. Elphaba as a result internalizes the shame of being different. She begins to hate herself so much that her one goal in life becomes seeking out someone (the Wizard) who she thinks holds all of the power to “fix” her. Someone to make her “normal” like everyone else.
She is exploited by the Wizard…..Many of us have gifts/ strengths that make us stand out among our neurotypical counterparts. When these gifts are recognized they are often exploited in the sense that people want us to use our talents for their own personal gain at a rate that is unsustainable and/or not in alignment with our values. We want external validation so badly that we are often willing to burn ourselves out in the service of others. Growing up we were told to seek validation and worth from serving a neurotypical standard of success regardless of our own well-being.
She realizes her power and claims it, even if it means existing outside of normal societal structures. The turning point in this beloved musical is Defying Gravity. When Elphaba realizes that she has power that the Wizard could never possess. Elphaba’s main motivation shifts from wanting to fit in and be made “normal” to standing up to fight for those without a voice. The parts of her that were different (her green skin, her magic, her tenacious empathy) brought strengths and a perspective no else could have. She actually had the power all along and her journey as an outsider allowed her to make the choice to use her powers for good.
In conclusion…Wow.. this really turned into a full on essay haha! I guess that is what happens when your ADHD brain just falls in love with something! Carrying on. From the discovery of the power of her voice to the impact of how her own experiences of being othered create such a strong moral compass of empathy and justice for anyone else who is pushed to the margins. I believe the story of the the Wicked Witch of the the West is a journey of realizing that the parts of yourselves you thought you had to change in order to fit in can be the strengths that cause you to sorrow above the crowd. You were made to stand out.
Elphaba’s story teaches us that sometimes in order for our full selves to be able to expand and take up the space they truly deserve we have to step outside of the box we were trying to squeeze yourselves into. We have to let go the the neurotypical standards or expectations and swap them out for a ones that take into account just how brilliant and expansive our brains are.
